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I had made plans. I decided I can’t be a slave of this industry forever. The possibility of moving to something that may not be better in terms of financial gains but greater in terms of fulfillment  gave me a sense of direction. Finally, I’ll be able to do what I want, will be able to practice what I was made of. This thought pushed me to finish what I have to.

The other day, my mom told me some bad news. The first thing that came into my mind, "Oh, no I can’t get out, I’m needed." It didnt make me feel better these past couple of days. I can’t decide whether this is a sign or simpy a test that I can overcome. So I’m back in my dilemma again. I don’t want to be a slave anymore, I want out! But I can’t not like this when crisis is underway.

I can’t live like this every day. I can’t go to work just looking forward for the next paycheck. I can’t go to work dreading what I do. I can’t go to work feeling unsatisfied about my career. I can’t.

At one point, I did enjoy what I do. Until this point of my stay, I gained more friends and our bond seemed to get stronger everyday that we spend time having coffee, eating breakfast and sitting together during the queues. This is the only thing I fear losing, yet these friends of mine understood what I’m going through.

My mind gooes blank. I still have something to finish. I’m in such a daze. The only thing I know is that I need to focus. Then I can worry about getting out later.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 1st, 2005 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.